Hello again, after a long HIATUS!

Hello December!

Just to give you all a brief update : Well, I'm still alive! =)

It was a very2 hectic times for the past few months. Work and life commitments seems more important lately than expressing feelings in blog.

So many things to share but I just don't know where to start.

Later bila ada mood i'll blog again.

Kepala kusut. Nak tido awal. Tata and Nite!

WRONG OR RIGHT?

The past few weeks have been a very difficult and confusing time for me. I've been thinking a lot about my life, the choices I've made, my feelings about things, what things I did right and what things I did wrong. I finally get the answer, 4 in the morning.

Life : Nothing in my life has been or will every be About Me. I don’t see how people can say that, when the world doesn’t revolve around one person, but many others.

Friends : I don't think having a huge friends list matters, its who talks to me or makes the effort to contact me when things get me down or when i just need someone to talk too is important to me. I could have 300 people on my list.... and possibly only few of them willing to shared a piece of my life with. Those are the important ones to me.

Love : I was putting myself through a kind of repeated rejection. Always wanting someone to love me and make me feel like a whole person again, but all it did was lower my self esteem and make me feel worse. I totally believe that every thing happened for a reason. Allah s.w.t knows what's the best for us. We always want the sunshine but Allah s.w.t knows there must be rain.

Career : What if I have chosen the wrong major in college? What if my job now is not the right career for me? What if I start a business and end up hating it? Think again, I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t even have to be right at first. I know I’ll get much better results in the long run if I’m willing to fail. We will never know until we commit, I believe.

We always want the laughter

And the merriment of cheer
But our hearts will lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear

Allah tests us often
With suffering and with sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
But to help us meet tomorrow

For growing trees are strengthened
If they withstand the storm
And the sharp cut of the chisel
Gave the marble grace and form

Allah tests us often
And for every pain He gives to us
Provided we’re patient
Is followed by rich again

So whenever we feel that everything is going wrong
It is just Allah’s way
To make our spirit’s strong =)

A Perfect Beginning : Sleepy Monday

I'm so sleepy today. Coffee doesn't work. A nap on a Monday, ohh how wonderful would that be! (tiba-tiba teringat lagu Justin Bieber, baby baby baby ohhhh)

Ok What Should I do When I Feel Sleepy But I Have A Lot Of Things To Do?

Check this out, dapat neyh from "BlurtIt". Bole pakai ke?

• Take an exercise break. Do some cardiology exercises, like running in place, or jumping jacks for 10 minutes (jumping jacks? ok ke? macam glamor je tibe2 melompat lompat)
• Eat something light, but healthy (oreo dalam laci? something light, yes. healthy, no. of course)
• Drink some fruit juice, and stretch throughly (leceh nye fruit juice bagai)
• Caffeinated beverages work for the short run, but can make u sleepier when they went off (2 tin nescafe da minum this morning, memang betul, ngantuk lagi)
• Get some cool air circulating, and breathe deepy (ahahhh i like this one. ala2 tai chi gitu la kan? ok off to tasik titiwangsa - which is dalam mimpi, keja banyak)

Conclusion : sambung buat kerja!

::dea::

Tiring Weekend

I had a tiring but very happy weekend spent with family and friends. I bought something I’m looking forward to, not stick to my diet plan (makan banyak gila and really lost control) and who can beat starting a weekend with lots of new clothes? I am truly blessed. New clothes always make a gal feel good, don't they? Boleh melaram-laram depan cermin. Hahah! Ok off to sleep and will post something again tomorrow. Kalau rajin and kalau ada mood la. Hehe. Tatah!

::dea::

SUNYI

Isk isk isk hwaaaaa sob sob sob srottttt (nangis tersedu-sedu dalam hati) Hwaa sunyinye. Bukan sebab tak ada aktiviti on weekend. Bukan sebab mama pinjam kereta yang menyebabkan saya patah kaki di hujung minggu (kaki tak berapa nak patah sebab kereta acap masih berfungsi dengan baik untuk bawak saya dan ani lepak minum). Bukan juga sebab tak ada steady boyfriend. Jauh sekali sebab tak ada anak. Ok merepek.

Sunyi sebab abang-abang kandung yang bukan dikandungi saya, tapi dikandungi mak saya dah berpindah jauh di rantau orang. A ah exaggerate je. Takda la jauh sangat. My first brother, abglong now working at Indonesia. Abgngah pulak kerja with Kementerian Penerangan di JB. And abgcik baru start kerja dengan Pakatan Arkitek Berhad, in charge project kat JB. Whatt?? Bosannn. But more to sedih sebenarnya. Tapi saya kental. Tak perlu buat muka kememeh. Cukup dengan maintain cool dan buat2 happy sebab dapat conquer remote astro.

It still seems so strange to have had my brothers all my life and then no more. Puffff just like that. Masing-masing dengan urusan sendiri. My brothers always went above and beyond the call of duty to help me. Dari belikan roti canai and milo ais (mcd sometimes), settlekan urusan bil 2 saya yg berlambak-lambak, helping me when Cik Kelisa meragam atau langgar dan dilanggar kereta orang..NAME IT..semua pon pernah buat. They are my favorite peoples in the whole world. l know I have to learn to let go and not rely so much on others now. I guess I crave for love and a close family so much that I feel sad and depressed that my own siblings are moving away. I'm so not ready for this.

mr dugong (long), debab (ngah), and pak tam (abgcik)..kerja je la kat KL! Bukan bestpon duduk JB and Indon tuh..haih. Takada orang nak panggil saya "birat" lagi. Sob sob.

::dea::

Sunday

Gambar di atas adalah hari Ahad saya. Bosan kan? Today bertapa depan pc siapkan outstation reports. Nak lepak keluar kereta tade. Haihh. Btw craving gila Starbucks Hazelnut Hot Chocolate. Padahal last Wednesday da belasah secawan. Siap ngecek cawan orang lain lagik. Dasyat. Macam nak chill chill chilly padi at starbucks petang ni..ani cepatlah datang. Saya mati kutu. Sekian.

::dea::

hanat day

Officially declare today as hanat Day. bunyi macam mencarut. saya tahu. happy+penat=hanat. *wawawawa* gelak sorang2 dengan lawak yang tak berapa menjadi. mesti ada orang kata dalam hati "lawak ke? tah hape-hape" tak kesahla. asalkan saya hangat=happy+sangat. Saya happy sebab berjumpa dgn Dr Faidzal, Hosp Segamat. hopefully dapat come out with a good proposal. chaiyok! Saya penat sebab drive from 8am-4pm today. KL-Tangkak-Segamat-JB. kaki rasa nak patah. tengkuk macam nak terkehel. ma-bab-pu-ya-tuk = maaf sebab merapu, saya ngantuk.
Bye.

::dea::